FORGIVING THOSE WHO HAVE WRONGED US AND LETTING GO OF BLAME, REVENGE AND ANGER

                                               FROM PAIN TO PEACE 
      Forgiving those Who have Wronged Us and Letting Go of Blame Revenge or Anger

PSALM 37:8-9 "Stop being angry - turn from your rage. Do not lose your temper it only leads to harm. For the wicked will be destroyed. But those who trust in the LORD will possess the land".

Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?"  Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Romans 12:19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."


Have you ever caught yourself justifying our anger, blame, my reasons. "You don't understand me because you don't have the same background I have. Things happened to me in the past that have caused me to be the way I am today."Sort of letting yourself off the hook type of thing? "I'm not doing very well spiritually but I have reasons why... ". I admit that I have had years of this attitude, pattern of justifications. A problem with blaming is that we, who blame others do not understand that many of our emotional wounds are self inflicted. It is not until we stop blaming others that we begin to see that we cause many of our own problems. God made our human psyche complex; it is difficult facing what prompts us to blame. We do irrational things when we act out of our woundedness. I’m not saying that any of this is easy. Our desire to blame others is inherent to our humanity. Yet spiritual growth requires that we face this tendency and work toward healing.

           3 KEYS TO LETTING GO OF ANGER/BLAME AND MOVE FORWARD

1)Pray and Ask God For Guidance – Being able to forgive or seek forgiveness is not just an intellectual decision, but there is also a spiritual dimension involved. In the parable of the unmerciful servant in the book of Matthew in the Bible, we find some guidance on how we should deal with forgiveness. See Matthew 18:21-22 in above section. This tends to suggest that forgiveness is limitless, and that we must be willing to forgive someone for a transgression time and time again without seeking retribution. Does t this standard may seem impossible to meet? Does to me lol. Nonetheless, it sets-forth the objectives we should attempt to achieve in our lives. In order to achieve this level of forgiveness, we must pray for strength, patience and perseverance in our relationships that may require forgiveness.

2) Let Go Of The Anger – Holding on to the anger that may be associated with an incident or experience that causes us hurt, can lead to hate, and perhaps a lingering desire for retaliation or revenge. This is destructive and causes an emotional drain on us even if we don’t realize it. Dr. Obsatz (2002), in his book, indicates that there are eight types of anger. These include:

Chronic anger is an ongoing feeling of resentment toward others.

Volatile anger is explosive but comes and goes.

Judgmental anger comes across in hypercritical statements.

Passive anger is suppressed anger that is expressed indirectly.

Overwhelmed anger arises when people believe they cannot handle the complexity of their circumstances.

Retaliatory anger is specifically directed at another person or persons.

Self-inflicted anger is directed at ourselves.

Constructive anger is anger we put to positive uses

Can you identify with one or more of these? With exception of this last type, most of these angers are destructive. Continuing to be angry over something that happened in the past, can be all consuming and distorts our ability to focus on happiness. Consequently, letting go of the anger is in our own best interest. Forgiveness gives you peace of mind and helps to let go of the anger.

3)Stop Being Stuck in "Victim Mode" and live in "Excitement for The Future" Mode – Generally, if we are angry with someone, it is because we feel that they have committed a serious wrong against us Still feeling that an injustice has been done, and that we have been treated unfairly. We can’t help but feel sorry for ourselves to some degree, and we expect others to feel sorry for us as well. While this mentality may be soothing for a short period of time, unfortunately it keeps us from moving beyond the hurt that we feel. If we are "stuck in victim mode" - we will not be able to realize the true peace and opportunities that God wants to bless us with!


DEAR FATHER GOD - PLEASE GIVE ME A HEART THAT FORGIVES, LETS GO OF ANGER AND BLAME. WHEN WE DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THE PERSON CLOSEST TO US HAS HURT US, WHY AN EVENT TOOK PLACE THAT HURT THOSE THAT WERE INNOCENT, ME OR OTHERS THAT WE HAVE FAITH THAT YOU ARE "SOVEREIGN". PLEASE REMIND ME THAT YOU FORGIVE MY ACTIONS DAILY AND YOU ENCOURAGE US TO DO THE SAME FOR OTHERS. HELP ME UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS A PROCESS OF HEALING THROUGH YOU. PLEASE HELP ME TO FOCUS ON THE FUTURE AND YOUR PROMSISES FOR ME, YOUR CHILD. AMEN