GOD'S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE - HEALING THE WOUNDS OF INSECURITY

                                                  FROM PAIN TO PEACE
         GOD'S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE - HEALING THE WOUNDS OF INSECURITY

Ephesians 2:10 (ESV)
 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them
 
Philippians 4:6 (ESV)
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

HOW DO WE DEVELOP INSECURITY?

Personally, development of insecurity began at an early age throughout my life.  "not being good enough". I felt expectations  at an early age to out "peform" everyone, to constantly improve, to be "better than".. I ended up trying to win unconditional love through approval . Everyone has things they deal with from childhood. However, in my 40s, I'm "starting" to realize my worth through God's unconditional love.  Finally, those select areas caused me enough misery to make this pivotal God-fed decision: I don't have to live this way anymore. I am beginning a new life......

SO ENOUGH ABOUT ME :).....can you identify with my story? - everyone has their own story. Here are some signs of insecurity (Stein, G, 2010):

1. Are you able to give a compliment? Even more important, can you graciously accept one? The latter behavior tends to be difficult for someone who is unsure of himself. He might blush or become flustered. Alternatively, he is prone to dismissing the validity of the praise, instead telling you why it isn’t true. What should one do if complimented? Simply smile and say “thank you.” Nothing more.

2. An inability to maintain eye contact is hard for many individuals who lack confidence. They will look away or look down, but rarely maintain the gaze of the other by looking into his or her eyes.

3. The self-doubting person tends to apologize a good deal when no apology is necessary. It is as if she expects to be reproached or is afraid to give offense; so, she prophylactically tries to excuse any possible mistake on her part in order to avoid just such a response.

4. Answering a question with an upward inflection of the voice has been heard or done by everyone. The person being questioned doesn’t have certainty about his answer, so he replies with a tone of voice that betrays his insecurity.

5. Men and women who are uncomfortable with sharing personal information for fear of being judged will oft-times turn the conversation to a different topic, away from anything that might make them vulnerable or reveal too much. This is also called “changing the subject.”

6. One way of inoculating yourself against criticism is to make jokes at your own expense. Do this too often and others may conclude that you put yourself down because you believe yourself to be seriously flawed

HOW TO OVERCOME INSECURITY THROUGH GOD'S GUIDANCE AND LOVE?

Discover God’s goodness to overcome perfectionism. When you ask the question, “Am I enough?” realize that you are, thanks to God’s goodness that gives you grace when you fall short and empowers you to grow. Don’t compare yourself to other women, give into envy or jealousy, insist on following your own agenda rather than God’s good plans for you, take credit for your strengths instead of recognizing that they’re God-given gifts, or give up when you fail rather than relying on the confidence God wants to give you. You don’t have to earn God’s love; He already loves you completely and unconditionally. His favor is based on His mercy, not on your desire or efforts. He has already made it possible for you to do whatever He calls you to do, simply by trusting Him and relying on His strength working through you. Even when you can’t see Him, remember that God is always at work bringing good outcomes out of even the worst circumstances in your life. Every day, make time to thank God for specific ways He has helped you in the past and is helping you now. Trust Him to continue to act according to what’s best for you in the future. Instead of trying to force situations to work out the way you want, surrender frustrating situations to God, telling Him that you trust Him to work them out in the right way at the right time. Celebrate God’s goodness to you by praising Him and picking up or buying a special memento that commemorates a specific answered prayer.

ASSIGNMENTS TO BUILD CONFIDENCE AND BASK IN GOD'S LOVE

1. Write a prayer/need list for yourself to help through this journey of self acceptance through God's love. Read and meditate on God’s promises from Scripture that apply to the challenges you’re currently facing. Trust God to help you in every area of your life rather than withholding certain parts from Him. Thank God for the many ways He has delivered you in the past, and trust Him to continue to do so.
2. When in prayer,  Look to God to complete you – not another person. Instead of bemoaning frustrating circumstances, focus on the state of your heart, asking God to give you the internal peace that will fulfill you despite your circumstances.
3.Pray for the courage you need to make decisions that please God, no matter how others might react. Give other people grace when you disagree with them, trusting God to judge them however He sees fit. Read Scripture passages about God’s love for you, and trust that all of His actions toward you are motivated by His great love.

PRAYER FOR TODAY:

DEAR FATHER GOD - I AM SO THANKFUL FOR YOUR LOVE FOR ME. PLEASE HELP ME TO KNOW THAT WHEN I AM ANXIOUS AND INSECURE, YOU WILL PROVIDE PEACE IF I JUST CALL YOUR NAME.  PLEASE BE WITH ME TO HAVE THE COURAGE TO FACE THE ROOTS OF MY INSECURITY AND BEGIN THE PROCESS OF HEALING. HELP ME TO ENCOURAGE AND HELP OTHERS THAT OUR STRUGGLING IN THESE AREAS TOO. HELP ME BE A REFLECTION OF YOUR ALMIGHTY LOVE AND FORGIVING HEART. AMEN

Stein, G. (2010)Signs of Insecurity: Behavior That Reveals a Lack of Confidence. Wordpress Publishing.
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (2001) by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers

THE TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE-WHAT IS IT? HOW TO MOVE FORWARD THROUGH CHRIST

                                                 FROM PAIN TO PEACE
   THE TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE-WHAT IS IT? HOW TO MOVE FORWARD


Isaiah 58:6 says, “Is not this the fast that I have chosen? To loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?”

John 5: 6-8 " When Jesus saw the man and knew that he had been sick for a long time, Jesus asked him "Do you want to be well?" . The sick man answered, "Sir there is no one to help me get into the pool when the water starts moving. While I am coming to the water someone else always gets in before me. Then Jesus said " Stand up, Pick up your mat and Walk"

This subject is so close and dear to my heart. I have family and friends that have dealt with trauma in many forms. I have worked with numerous clients that have been through unspeakable things. I, too, have been through traumatic events in childhood, young adulthood. I have finally acknowledged that these events have affected my self worth, my choice of relationships, my engaging of destructive behaviors and most important put up a wall between God and I. I am in my 40s and beginning the process of healing. When I didn't  acknowledge these things, attempting to put bandaids on my emotions, feeling somehow that I was at fault.

Does this sound familiar?
Is it hard for you to trust and attach to others?
Do you have anxiety or panic when certain situations arise?
Do you attempt to "self medicate" through alcohol, drugs or other destructive ways to "escape the emotional pain"?
Do you have problems sleeping? When you do, do dreams come back so vividly to you?
Do you have intense mood swings? Reactive anger?
Do you feel at fault at what happened to you?
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Trauma is a type of damage to a person's mental well being that occurs as a result of a severely distressing event.A traumatic event involves a single experience, or an enduring or repeating event or events, that completely overwhelm the individual's ability to cope or integrate the ideas and  involved with that experience. The sense of being overwhelmed can be delayed by weeks, years emotions or even decades, as the person struggles to cope with the immediate circumstances. Psychological trauma can lead to serious long-term negative consequences that are often overlooked even by mental health professionals: "If clinicians fail to look through a trauma lens and to conceptualize client problems as related possibly to current or past trauma, they may fail to see that trauma victims, young and old, organize much of their lives around repetitive patterns of reliving and warding off traumatic memories, reminders, and affects.(DePrince & Freyd, 2002)
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How Can We Start the Process of Healing?

This is my first suggestion for you to do when you are ready to be delivered from the pain.
1) Acknowledge what happened - as painful and hard as it may be- with a pastoral or christian based therapist or a very close friend that you can express anything and everything to.
2) The road to recovery must involve building a sense of empowerment and reconnection - support of christian friends and church groups, begin reading, journaling and praying to God to help us to begin to heal and become effective for him. When you call His Name - he will be by your side, loving you every step of the way...

This is how I started my journey of healing and peace. In later blogs, we can discuss in detail symptoms, negative emotions and thinking "traps" and how to counteract these things through becoming closer in our relationship with God and taking steps toward acceptance and forgiveness......
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References:
The New Century Bible "The Everyday Bible" (1991). Dallas, TX: Word Publishing
 A.P. & Freyd, J.J. (2002). "The Harm of Trauma: Pathological fear, shattered assumptions, or betrayal?" In J. Kauffman (Ed.) Loss of the Assumptive World: a theory of traumatic loss. (pp 71–82). New York: Brunner-Routledge

Finding Joy in Our Journey 10/11 by Finding Joy in Our Journey | Spirituality Podcasts

Finding Joy in Our Journey 10/11 by Finding Joy in Our Journey | Spirituality Podcasts

MOVING FORWARD AND REALIZING YOUR WORTH THROUGH GOD

                                                FROM PAIN TO PEACE
                        Moving forward and Realizing Your Worth through God

Jer 33:6 "'Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security."

Job 12:13, 22 But true wisdom and power are found in God; counsel and understanding are His … He uncovers mysteries hidden in darkness; He brings light to the deepest gloom.”


Anguish - an·guish noun extreme suffering, grief, or pain.

When we have been through trauma/anguish, it feels like the emotional scars will be there forever. Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless and vulnerable in a dangerous world. Any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and alone can be traumatic, even if it doesn’t involve physical harm. It’s not the objective facts that determine whether an event is traumatic, but your subjective emotional experience of the event. The more frightened and helpless you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized.

Having worked with individuals/families dealing with trauma AND having experienced traumatic experiences myself, God has placed it my heart to write journal/book about my experiences professionally and personally and my journey back to His love and peace to help others.

Rejection is a cruel and degrading experience. Self-worth goes down the drain. You are torn to bits and pieces and you wonder if any of the pieces will fit again. I wondered who cares, who understands? I'm a failure, and why do I exist?

Even though I felt unloved and unwanted due to traumatic events and relationships, God seemed to call my name. He longed for me to turn my eyes on Him. As I meditate on His Word and pray for Him to move the mountain of pain , He revealed Himself so clearly that I no longer saw the mountain, but I saw Jesus. He took my hand in His and He began to lead me. He wanted me to lean on Him. God brought me to my knees as I cried for mercy, His forgiveness, and His presence. My emotions had to be brought under control and given over to Jesus. I needed/still need the reality of His presence and nearness for the long lonely hours and nights that happen. When I am willing to see God as bigger, greater, and stronger than my burdens and problems, I am able to see a ray of hope as I turn my eyes upon Him. We are NEVER alone - we have our biggest confidant by our side always!

Dear Lord - thank you so much for your healing and peace where and when we need it if we call on you. Help us to find the purpose you have planned for us when we experience pain and turn it over for your glory and to help others.