SIGN OF SPIRITUAL MATURITY-SELF LOVE/DISCERNMENT

Psalm 139:13-14 (NCV)13 You made my whole being;    you formed me in my mother’s body. I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way.    What you have done is wonderful.    I know this very well.

1 Corinthians 14:33 (NCV)33 God is not a God of confusion but a God of peace.As is true in all the churches of God’s people.
 

If you celebrate your differentness, the world will, too. It believes exactly what you tell it—through the words you use to describe yourself, the actions you take to care for yourself, and the choices you make to express yourself. Tell the world you are one-of-a-kind creation who came here to experience wonder and spread joy. Expect to be accommodated. (11)”
― Victoria Moran, Lit From Within: Tending Your Soul For Lifelong Beauty




When writing about spiritual fruits, I struggled with the idea of "self love" being a sign of spiritual growth. We all have heard the phrase - "if you don't love yourself, you won't be able to love anyone else".  So true.  Is self love "selfish"? Focusing too much energy on ourselves versus spending our energy on others?  The key to self love is "balance" and "reflecting God's love for us". God has made us the unique, beautiful individual that we are.  Are we supposed to remove ourselves from situations/people that invite confusion in our lives? Keep us from the purpose that God wants us to obtain for his glory? Influence us away from our Christian beliefs? Honestly, I believe yes.  "Be of the world, not in the world" (Romans 12:2)

FATHER GOD - THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR WORD, YOUR LOVE FOR US. HELP US TO DISCERN HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS FROM RELATIONSHIPS THAT CAN TAKE AWAY OUR PEACE,  , OUR BELIEFS IN YOU, AND THE PURPOSE YOU WANT US TO ACHIEVE . THANK YOU FOR LOVING US SO MUCH THAT YOU KNOW AND LOVE "EXACTLY WHO WE ARE". GIVE US STRENGTH AND COURAGE TO STAND UP FOR YOU AND LOVE OURSELVES AS "YOUR CREATION".

9 Signs of Spiritual Maturity - Love

9 Signs of Spiritual Maturity - Love

Ephesians 4:2-3 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

1 Corinthians 13:1313 So these three things continue forever: faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these is love

Hopefully, we have all "experienced" love in some form or fashion. There are MANY types of love. Here are a few:

Brotherly/Sisterly Love- This term connotes having a feeling of love for your neighbor, because all humanity is considered to be part of a larger family of human beings.
Romantic Love- An abiding love for a partner with whom you feel passion, attraction, caring and respect.

Maternal Love- This term usually connotes love that is nurturing, accepting and protective. In actuality this love can also be given by a father etc.
 
Paternal Love- This term connotes love that involves guidance and some authority. Paternal love usually prepares a child to be ready for the outside world. Again, in reality this type of love is not gender specific.

Unconditional Love- A type of affection and caring that is so strong that you feel it consistently, regardless of what that other person does Spiritual/Divine Love- This type of love recognizes the Divine light in everyone and everything. Love is given to everyone as an act of loving God.

Spiritual/Divine Love- This type of love recognizes the Divine light in everyone and everything. Love is given to everyone as an act of loving God.

Love is an amazing feeling isn't it? Its wonderful when we have a best friend that we can share everything with, a church that we feel like we "belong" to with our brothers and sisters, love for a child that is so unconditional its indescribable to "romantic love" when we feel such a strong connection to our spouse/mate.

The foundation of all these relationships is love.  But, taking a look closer the foundation of "WHY" God extended salvation to us is LOVE. it is what motivated the Father to send His only Son to die for us. Without love, there would have been no Savior for humankind. Not only would we be without love, but without the redemption that was precipitated by love, there would also be no faith, and no hope. You see, nothing else matters, without love. It is foundational for every other good thing in our lives.

Can we obtain "Spiritual/Divine love for others? Sounds impossible? :)  God created us ALL. He created people that we could love easily and he created others that are not so easy to love. A true sign of spiritual maturity is to see the "light" and "potential" in everything and everyone God created.

FATHER GOD  -  THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR AWESOME LOVE FOR US AND SEEING THE POTENTIAL IN OUR IMPERECTION. HELP REMIND US THAT "YOU" CREATED "ALL OF US" AND LOVED US SO MUCH YOU GAVE YOU SON TO SAVE US. HELP US TO BE MORE LIKE YOU IN OUR FRIENDSHIPS, RELATIONSHIPS, MARRIAGES THAT WE WOULD GIVE ALL TO THE ONES WE LOVE, EVEN IF IT MEANS SACRIFICE TO GLORIFY YOU. HELP US TO SEE LIGHT AND LOVE IN EVERYONE AND IN EVERY SITUATION THAT WOULD BE EASY GIVE UP ON. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR BLESSINGS. AMEN.

9 Signs of Spiritual Maturity - Kindness

9 Signs of Spiritual Maturity - Kindness

Galatians 6:2 (NCV) By helping each other with your troubles, you truly obey the law of Christ.

Psalm 112:55 It is well with the man/woman who deals generously and lends; who conducts his affairs with justice.

Do you see someone discouraged, needing a bit of cheer today?
Then go on, share the Lord, Giving them hope along the way.
Kindness has God-given power To uplift one's burden and care.
Tis a candle in their dark night, Dispersing love's light here and there.
Kindness loans strength to the weary, rekindling that flame flick'ring low.
It beams sunshine to the dreary and on the face an afterglow.
Kindness is casting out God's bread, for it shall come back to us one day.
Someday we may need to be fed and in kindness, someone will pray.
by Nancy Sousley


Have you noticed that it is SO much easier to be kind to others that are kind to US? Are similiar to US? Like the same things WE do? I have :) It may little harder when those who may be rude at times, have different ways of thinking, different lifestyles, different attitudes than ours. Christ is the TRUE example of kindness.. Have you noticed that HE EVEN WENT OUT OF HIS WAY to go to those who were hurting because they were different, didn't know His Father and were suffering because they didn't know God. What an example to STRIVE for?:) Striving is what he expects from us - not perfection. How can we be kind to others today?


FATHER GOD - PLEASE BE WITH US, ESPECIALLY ON DAYS THAT WE FEEL PRESSURED AND TORN, TO NOTICE OTHERS' NEEDS. REMIND US THAT A LITTLE KINDNESS AND COMPASSION TOWARDS OTHERS CAN GO A VERY LONG WAY. HELP US TO "GET OUT OF OURSELVES" AND HELP OTHERS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR KINDNESS AND LOVE TO US, YOUR CHILDREN. AMEN.

9 Signs of Spiritual Maturity-Faithfulness

9 Signs of Spiritual Maturity - Faithfulness

Some people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them," I said.
"Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway.” ― John Green

Deuteronomy 7:9 (NCV)9 So know that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God. He will keep his agreement of love for a thousand lifetimes for people who love him and obey his commands.

 

Faithfulness is basically the ability to be trusted. It is the cornerstone of the character of a person. . It is a matter of developing an invisible quality, a certain style and character of doing things. Old sayings like my mom and dad's generation of "Doing what you say" "Say what you mean and mean what you say" Faithfulness radiates from the heart. We grow faithfulness in our relationships by being faithful to what you say, to our friends in good times and bad, to our children (all ages) and to our spouse/partner. Faithfulness involves self-control and discipline. Do we really want to be in any kind of relationship with someone who is unpredictable and unfaithful?

Faithfulness is not based on EMOTIONS but on PRINCIPLES. Always remember this: Relationships and decisions that are based on emotions rather than principles are not substantial. In this world of "doing what feels good", or "I don't know what happened we grew apart" its so DIFFICULT to not buy into the emotions of wanting to FEEL BETTER by making a decision to be unfaithful. We are all human and God knows this all too well. He knows we have made mistakes and will continue making them. However, he wants us to strive to be a reflection of Him.

In my opinion, the true example of faithfulness is God's promises to us. I truly believe that through the storms of lfe, he will be there for us, he will have a lesson for us to learn and it will help us grow. Do you think that God wants us to mirror HiS faithfulness by being faithful to others - through the storms and the pleasant times? TALL ORDER isn't it?:) " Happy are those who remain faithful under trials, because when they succeed in passing such a test, they will receive as their reward the life which God has promised to those who love him." (James1:12)

 

 

FATHER GOD - WE FACE SO MANY TEMPTATIONS AND TRIALS THAT TEST OUR FAITHFULNESS TO YOU, OUR FRIENDS, OUR FAMILY AND OUR MARRIAGES. REMIND US OF YOUR FAITHFULNESS AS AN EXAMPLE TO STRIVE FOR. THANK YOU FOR YOUR FAITHFULNESS IN DELIVERING YOUR PROMISES AND LOVING US NO MATTER WHAT. AMEN.

Rainbows and God's Promise :)

God's Promise
God never promised A life without pain,
Laughter without tears Or sun without rain.
But He did promise Strength for the day,
Comfort for the tears And light for the way,
And for all who believe In His Heaven above
He rewards their faith In His everlasting love:)

9 Signs of Spiritual Maturity - Happiness

9 Signs of Spiritual Maturity - Happiness

 

Isn't it great to laugh with a friend when times are good? Having fun, life is going well and "all is good"? I don't know about you, but its even better to share that with a friend when life is stressful and its "better to laugh than cry". Medical Research tells us that laughter reduces stress hormones and increases endorphins which are the body's "feel ...good hormones". God tells us that if we laugh more often than not, it will lengthen our life! Let's start medicating ourselves with laughter. How do we do this when we feel "laugh deprived"?

Laugh for 30 minutes once a day.

How Can we do this?

1. Watch comedy DVDs.
Schedule regular dates to watch your favourite comedians and let them tickle your funny bone in your own living room. I have a few and when I'm watching them my daughter just laughs at my laugh:) Do you have some favorites?

2. Talk or Call an entertaining friend.
I have a best friend that when I call her "wanting to vent" she has me laughing in 15 minutes - no lie! She has such a good sense of humor that it changes my perspective on the current situation. I also work with funny ladies and when we get together and discuss things - I always seem to be laughing when sometimes I could pull my hair out at work!

3. Have "kid" time or "pet" time.
What is it about kids and pets that instantly help us to see the funny side of things. Well, kids "most of the time" lol. Just watching them play or get excited helps you to feel joyful with them.

 

FATHER GOD - THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GIVING US LAUGHTER TO SHARE WITH ONE ANOTHER. IT IS MEDICINE FOR THE SOUL. PLEASE HELP US TO CONCENTRATE ON YOUR BLESSINGS AND KEEPING AN ATTITUDE OF JOY DURING OUR DAY. IN EVERY SITUATION, YOU GIVE US BLESSINGS TO BE JOYFUL ABOUT AMEN.
 

 

Proverbs 17:22 (NCV) A happy heart is like good medicine,
but a broken spirit drains your strength

“When was the last time you had a good belly-shaking-tear-jerking-snot-producing laugh?That long?... That's the problem......"Osayi Osar-Emokpae

Psalms 126:2 Then our mouth was filled with laughter And our tongue with joyful shouting; Then they said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them."

Miracles come in CANs not CANTs:)

Miracles come in CANS, they don't come in CAN'Ts" Joyce Meyer - gotta love her

Numbers 13:30 (KJV) And Caleb stilled the people before Moses, and said, Let us go up at once, and possess it; for we are well able to overcome it.

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9 Signs of Spiritual Maturity-Self Control

                                       9 Signs of Spiritual Maturity - Self Control

2 Timothy 1:7(NCV)7 God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid but a spirit of power and love and self-control.
 
1 Peter 4:7 The end of all things is near; therefore, be of sound judgment and sober spirit for the purpose of prayer.

The final and one of the most important "spiritual fruits" that Jesus mentioned is "self control".  I will admit this is something I have to focus on and practice on a "daily  basis". This is something I continue to work on. Sometimes I succeed fully, sometimes I don't.  BUT I believe that God understands this and wants to see if we will keep "trying" to live a self-disciplined life through HIS strength.

                               SELF CONTROL= BALANCED LIFE

Jesus mentioned that "practicing" self control doesn't just help others look to Christians for an example of peace  but it is a blessing to have "balanced" life. Living many years without balance, I look back and see all of the strife, the ups and downs, emotional rollercoasters and detours I needlessly went through.  Self-control is last in the list of 'spiritual fruits". It regulates all the preceding fruit or virtues of the Spirit. Love without restraint becomes passion. Joy taken to excess is shallow frivolity. Peace without self-control becomes idleness. Patience without balance becomes apathy. Gentleness becomes weakness; goodness becomes self-serving. Faith completely without reason becomes blind superstition. Meekness taken to an extreme becomes timidity. The world speaks of love, joy, and peace, but its darkened mind .

Ask yourself these questions to see if you are growing "self control" and headed on the right track:
 • Am I as dedicated and zealous as an Olympic athlete?
• Do I study the Holy Scriptures as much as any athlete studies how to perform well in his sport?
• Am I quick in seeking advice (through prayer and Bible study) from my Coach?
• Do I stay focused on my long-range goal?
• Am I willing to make sacrifices to reach my goal?
• Am I determined to endure to the end —to cross the finish line of life—and to never quit?

We probably can't say yes to all those questions every day. But hopefully we are heading in that direction. This requires taking charge of our lives.  If we do practice restraint, God wants to bless us with a purpose that we will grasp in time. Self control requires alot of faith that the goal, though it seems WAY down the road; will be worth the wait!

FATHER GOD - IN THIS WORLD OF INSTANT GRATIFICATION AND LACK OF SELF DISCIPLINE, HELP US TO STAY ON TRACK, FOCUS ON YOU TO ACHIEVE WHAT YOU WANT US TO ACHIEVE. HELP US TO UNDERSTAND THE CONSEQUENCES OF GETTING OFF TRACK AND NOT DEVELOPING THE FRUIT OF SELF CONTROL. THANK YOU FOR GIVING US THE STRENGTH TO DO THIS IN YOUR NAME. HELP US TO GRASP THAT THE POSSIBILITIES THROUGH YOU ARE ENDLESS IF WE DO OUR PART. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR WONDERFUL BLESSINGS. AMEN.

9 SIGNS OF SPIRITUAL MATURITY - PEACE

Developing Spiritual Maturity - Growing Peace Through Trials

Isaiah 41:10(NCV) 10 So don’t worry, because I am with you.
Don’t be afraid, because I am your God.
I will make you strong and will help you;
I will support you with my right hand that saves you.
 
Philippians 4:7 (NCV)
7 And God’s peace, which is so great we cannot understand it, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus
 
Colossians 3:15 (NCV)15 Let the peace that Christ gives control your thinking, because you were all called together in one body to have peace. Always be thankful.

Do you think that peace is the fleeting feeling between problems? Its dependent in "what's going on", "what others are doing to us", "how life is treating us at the moment". I'll admit I was such a believer of that concept for many years. If I don't watch it, it's easy to slip back to that mindset when things don't go as planned/ or life hits hard. Can you identify?

Personally, when I go through rough times; I've had to grow FAITH that when one door closes GOD will open another door. We may not understand the "why" of our situation but we experience "peace that passes all understanding" through FAITH and belief that God has a purpose in all we go through. He loves us so much and wants us to grow in Him.

Where do we find the kind of peace that is not just the absence of trouble--the kind of peace that cannot be affected by trouble, danger, or sorrow? It is ironic that what is surely the most definitive example on peace in all of Scripture comes from the Lord Jesus on the night before He died in agony. He knew what He was facing, yet He still took time to comfort His disciples with the message of peace.

How Can We Reduce Fear and Grow Peace?

Listen to your intuition/Holy Spirit:
Have you been told that you "over think" things? I have, MANY times.....I have recently just  learned, when in prayer and study with God, your intuition/gut feeling can tell you the right decision to make.Listen to this whenever you need to make decisions. Your intuition often knows more than you think. Since intuition works instantly, it won’t bring a lot of things into your mind. Your mind will remain calm and peaceful.

Prayer:
Prayer  is one of the best ways to calm your mind and have a “mind like water”. Prayers grows our faith and grows our relationship with God.  For me its spending time in the morning to talk with God about my concerns/ concerns for others and "leave it with Him". Everyone is different in the mode/amount/time of day etc when they want to communicate with Him. The simple thing to remember is to "do it":)\

Read spiritual texts/Bible:
Spiritual texts are among the purest kinds of information you can possibly get. It helps you link together your mind, heart, and intuition. Reading helps us focus on our dependence on God to work things out to His purpose. Reading helps us to take scripture and apply it to our present circumstances that we feel "stuck" in. Above all, reading is one very important part of communicating with our God. Hear what he has to say to us when we are discouraged.

FATHER GOD - THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR KNOWING OUR EXACT SITUATION AND WANTING US TO GROW IN YOU AND MAKE THINGS POSITIVE THROUGH YOU. PLEASE HELP US TO GROW PEACE AND FAITH THROUGH TRIALS AND KNOW THAT PEACE CAN BE EVERLASTING - DESPITE CIRCUMSTANCES. REMIND US TO LISTEN WITH OUR HEARTS/YOUR VOICE WHEN MAKING DECISIONS TO TRULY FIND PEACE. HELP US TO SHOW OTHERS THE CHRISTIAN EXAMPLE OF BEING "CALM DURING THE STORM". THANK YOU FOR YOUR BLESSINGS. AMEN






The Holy Bible, New Century Version®. Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

9 Signs of Spiritual Maturity - Patience

                                         9 Signs of Spiritual Maturity - Patience

   

Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
 
Romans 8:25
But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently
 
Hebrews 6:15
And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.

Is "being patient" hard for you? This "fruit"  is very difficult for me to grow at times- I will definitely admit :). Doesn't it irritate you sometimes when someone says to you, “Thank you for your patience.” It usually means that I have every reason to be impatient!

When Paul talks about patience as one of the fruits of the Spirit he means something quite different from quietly waiting when you would rather get on with it. He means that the Spirit will inspire in us persistence and centeredness. Patient people persist in doing what is good and "Spirit led" until they accomplish what God wants to accomplish. In order to do that, patience takes "extreme focus" .People that have DEVELOPED patience cannot be pulled away from their central convictions and goals.

The Purpose of Patience
So, what's the purpose of building patience abilities? In a word, happiness. Better relationships, more success. Well worth the effort, I'd say. But effort, indeed, it takes.

ARE YOU STRUGGLING WITH IMPATIENCE?

WANTING THINGS TO HAPPEN NOW -getting frustrated while waiting, interrupt others often, walk or talk at a rapid pace, and are always painfully aware of the time and how little of it they have to spare.

AGGRESSIVENESS, which shows up as impatience, rudeness, being easily upset over small things, or ‘having a short fuse’,

COMPETITIVENESS

STRONG ACHIEVEMENT ORIENTATION -wanting to achieve the goal IMMEDIATELY

HOW TO DEVELOP MORE PATIENCE:

1. BECOME AWARE -of when you’re feeling impatient. Is it selfishly motivated? Will being impatient "truly" get the results wanted?

2. FIGURING OUT "THE WHY" -  Pinpoint the triggers that often influence you to lose your patience. If you feel anxious, worried, or unhappy you may not even realize that the underlying cause of these feelings is impatience. To reduce the frequency of impatience, it helps to be aware of it.

3. PRAY that God will be in control of the situation at hand. Have FAITH that he will deliver His promises in His time. Patience is a behavioral choice..Rising impatience is an behavioral trap that too many that is easy to fall intto. Don’t make that mistake.You can regian emotional control.

4.LET IT GO -  if you can't do anything about the  trigger of impatience. If there isn't anything that you can do to resolve whatever has triggered your impatience, just let it go. Easier said than done, yes, but it's possible, and it's the only healthy thing to do.

5. SEEING THE BIGGER PICTURE - Remind yourself that things take time. People who are impatient are people who insist on getting things done now and don't like to waste time. However, some things just can't be rushed.

FATHER GOD - THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PATIENCE IN DEALING WITH US. HELP REMIND US THAT "YOU" HAVE A PLAN FOR US IN "YOUR" TIME NOT "OUR" TIME. HELP US TO COUNT EVERYDAY BLESSINGS THAT YOU GIVE TO US. HELP US TO SEE YOUR PURPOSE IN TIMES WHERE WAITING IS INVOLVED. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR CONSISTENT PROMISES. AMEN.

The Holy Bible, New Century Version®. Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

HOW TO HANDLE WHEN YOUR FAITH IS CHALLENGED BY OTHERS WHO HAVE A DIFFERENT WORLDVIEW?

How to Handle When Your Faith is Challenged by Others Who Have a Different Worldview?

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2).

" To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing". -I Peter 3:8-9
"A worldview is the framework from which we view reality and make sense of life and the world. "[It's] any ideology, philosophy, theology, movement or religion that provides an overarching approach to understanding God, the world and man's relations to God and the world," states Noebel (2006).

Since I have been speaking out my Christian faith, only a short time; I have came across many different views on God - atheism, agnosticism. Blogging is an exciting thing to be a part of  - especially when you are interfacing with individuals with different viewpoints around the world. But we also face differences in belief in everyday life. I'm thinking about some students I interact with at school. In my opinion, people have "faith" or belief in something if they feel strongly about it and want to communicate it. An example may mean they DONT believe in God, they DONT feel they have a purpose or try to influence people. But, in fact, the belief in GOD is what they oppose and a purpose may be to influence others to think the same.

How does a Christian handle this? Its so easy and wonderful to "preach to the choir" :) I love being around like minded Christians. But, when are faith is questioned, how can we share God but not turn them away because of our "perceived" judgement of them?

"Walk a Mile in Their Shoes" - An individual's viewpoint is shaped by experiences that we don't know. It is shaped by their emotion involved in these experiences - ie bad experience in church with people, family members who proclaimed to be Christians and did unspeakable things, etc.

"Witness By Action" - This one is a hard one. But its one of the most important things to do. Live in Humility and Love, Make Life Decisions that Show True Christianity and Love, Being Patient When Others are Testing You (very hard for me at times lol), to just name a few.

"Listen" - Listening without judging, wanting to disagree about what they believe. Also "listening" to the Holy Spirit and how He prompts you to act, what to say, what not to say.

"Understand" - Understanding that before we "really" came to know Christ, we also had a secular worldly view of things. Think back to that time and understand and identify where he/she is at this point. Preaching/judging won't lead them to Christ - remembering how that aggravated us when out in the world. However, also understanding through empathy, action and patience maybe we can influence their acceptance of Christ, and leading a more peaceful existence for them:)

FATHER GOD - THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR MERCY AND GRACE BEFORE WE CAME TO KNOW YOU AND NOW AS OUR BELIEF IN YOU GROWS. HELP US TO APPLY YOUR EXAMPLE OF LOVE AND HUMILITY TO THOSE AROUND US THAT DON'T KNOW YOU OR QUESTION THE EXISTENCE OF YOU. THANK YOU FOR GIVING US PEACE, EVEN THROUGH THE TOUGH TIMES, BECAUSE OF OUR BELIEF IN YOU. AMEN

The Holy Bible, New Century Version®. Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Noeble, D (2006). Understanding the Times: The Religious Worldviews of our Day and the Search for Truth Harvest House, 1991; 2nd edition 2006

BLOOMING WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED-BEARING FRUIT:)

           BLOOMING WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED-BEARING FRUIT

Galatians 5:22-25 (NCV)

22 But the Spirit produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. There is no law that says these things are wrong. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified their own sinful selves. They have given up their old selfish feelings and the evil things they wanted to do. 25 We get our new life from the Spirit, so we should follow the Spirit.

John 15:16 (NCV)

16 You did not choose me; I chose you. And I gave you this work: to go and produce fruit, fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you anything you ask for in my(JESUS) name.

Life Stages of a Tree (Kikelly, 2006)

1. Seed
2. Seedling: the above-ground part of the embryo that sprouts from the seed
3. Sapling: After the seedling reaches 1 m tall, and until it reaches 7 cm in stem diameter
4. Pole: young trees from 7-30 cm diameter
5. Mature tree: over 30 cm diameter, reproductive years begin
6. Old tree: dominate old growth forest; height growth slows greatly, with majority of productivity in seed production


I'll admit I am starting to begin to grow fruit again lol. There were years I was a SEED, even being brought up in church - being self absorbed, being stuck in pain, wanting what I wanted. How can we grow if the Holy Spirit has know place in our life, heart?

But just think of a tree. It grows silently with inner strength, pushing out new buds, adding height and girth. It may bend under the lashing winds of a storm, but, if rooted firmly in the ground, it sustains the storm and stands through the seasons. Some trees live for centuries, giants on the earth. What is behind this growth and productivity? If we are rooted in faith of salvation and fed by the Holy Spirit and taken care of by God, we will grow. Its only when our hearts/minds are focused on ourselves, our pain, our pleasures where we will not grow and productive. So what is your choice? I've decided, after many years of being dead, to choose Life, to "bloom":) Grow day by day. I hope you do too. Imagine what the orchard of "believers" can be to others in need of God!


FATHER GOD - THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING "OUR GARDENER" AND TAKING CARE OF US WHEN WE ARE FED BY YOUR WORD AND HOLY SPIRIT. PLEASE HELP US BE PRODUCTIVE IN YOUR WORK. IF WE LOSE OUR FOCUS DUE TO PAIN, SELFISHNESS OR PLEASURES, PLEASE PROMPT US TO COME BACK TO YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR BLESSINGS AND CARE.


The Holy Bible, New Century Version®. Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.


Kikelly, J (2006). What Exactly is a Tree and a Tree's Life Stages? Retrieved 10/10/13 from http://www.gardenplansireland.com/forum/about163.html

MOVING BEYOND THE PAIN - BEGINNING SPIRITUAL GROWTH

               MOVING BEYOND THE PAIN-BEGINNING SPIRITUAL GROWTH 

                                                  FROM PAIN TO PEACE

2 Peter 1:3-8 (New Century Version)

3 Jesus has the power of God, by which he has given us everything we need to live and to serve God. We have these things because we know him. Jesus called us by his glory and goodness. 4 Through these he gave us the very great and precious promises. With these gifts you can share in being like God, and the world will not ruin you with its evil desires. 5 Because you have these blessings, do your best to add these things to your lives: to your faith, add goodness; and to your goodness, add knowledge; 6 and to your knowledge, add self-control; and to your self-control, add patience; and to your patience, add service for God; 7 and to your service for God, add kindness for your brothers and sisters in Christ; and to this kindness, add love. 8 If all these things are in you and are growing, they will help you to be useful and productive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Does the above passage sound daunting to you? I'll admit it does to me :) Thinking about patience - especially close to the end of day at school where I work. lol. Notice the passage says "do your best" and assurance that God has promises and blessings for us when we attempt to add "faith, goodness, knowledge, self control, service for God, brotherly/sisterly love" to our lives.

Especially when we went through a traumatic event, these things can be hard to work through. Distrust, lack of self control (ie addiction), wanting complete control of everything is the world the individual that has went through trauma KNOWS and IS COMFORTABLE IN.

How to Break Free from Darkness and Grow in Spiritual Light?

There are some things that only God can do, and there are some things that only WE can do. Only God can save a person. Only God can forgive and forget our sins.But having said that, only WE can believe. Only WE can repent. Only WE can follow. God will not do that for us. He has given us a free will with the ability to choose. So success in the Christian life comes down to our willingness.

Once we are willing, we have to believe in his promises and HAVE FAITH. Easier said than done right? It was for me. How do we grow in faith in believing in God's promises? I'm beginning spiritual growth "again" by starting with the basics/essentials: 1)Read the bible daily 2) Unceasing prayer daily 3) Frequent time with Christian believers. These are things that you grow to do more consistently and treasure over time. If we start with the basics, we will grow to want to serve others and will see his promises come true! Possibilities are endless through CHRIST:)

CHALLENGE FOR TODAY:)

1) READ - a devotional, a passage in the Bible that applies to what is going on in your life today. Before reading, ask God to speak to you through His Word. Then listen for the message he will give to you through the passage and apply it.

2) PRAY - for the things that are concerning you that you are going through right now, pray for faith and increased belief in His promises, pray for others that are hurting that you are friends with/acquainted with. Pray to be a VESSEL for God to work through and that he will show you a way to work for Him.

3) LIVE - through communication with Him, live what you learned, what he speaks to you during the day to do for others and what not to do (ie self control) because of selfishness.

We, as children of GOD, are a work in progress - learning everyday.....

FATHER GOD - THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PROMISES AND BLESSINGS IF WE WILL JUST HAVE FAITH IN YOU. HELP US TO GROW IN OUR FAITH THROUGH CONSISTENCY AND WILLINGNESS TO BE A VESSEL FOR YOU. SHOW US HOW TO BE YOUR REFLECTION AND TO BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS . IF WE STUMBLE, PLEASE FORGIVE US AND HELP US TO GET BACK ON THE PATH WITH YOU.

The Holy Bible, New Century Version®. Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

THE IMPORTANCE OF TRUE CHRISTIAN FRIENDS WITHIN THE HEALING PROCESS

                                                     FROM PAIN TO PEACE

     THE IMPORTANCE OF TRUE CHRISTIAN FRIENDS WITHIN THE HEALING PROCESS

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, 12 (NCV) " Two people are better than one, because they get more done by working together. If one falls down the other can help him up."

12 "An enemy might defeat one person but two people together can defend themselves a rope that is woven of three strings is hard to break"

How can we recognize potential friendship? Signs include a mutual desire for companionship and perhaps a common bond of some kind. Beyond that, genuine friendship involves a shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop, and a hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life. True friendship involves action: doing something for someone else while expecting nothing in return; sharing thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or negative criticism.

Real friendship looks at the heart, not just the "packaging." Genuine friendship loves for love's sake, not just for what it can get in return. True friendship is both challenging and exciting. It risks, it overlooks faults, and it loves unconditionally, but it also involves being truthful, even though it may hurt. We have such a true example of friendship through Jesus Christ - unconditional, by our side through "thick and thin", loving us and challenging us to be a better person everyday.

MY CHALLENGE TODAY (CAN BE YOURS TOO)

1) Reflect on "How do I define friendship?" - what things do you see a "good, true" friend do? When you try to be "there" for a true friend, what is your "mindset" or your "heartset" towards that person?

2) Show and tell your friend how much you care, love and respect them for "being there" and that you will be by their side through "thick and thin", praying, celebrating, comforting. And show them :)every chance you get


FATHER GOD - THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PUTTING FRIENDS IN OUR LIVES TO SHOW THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE THAT WE ALSO RECEIVE FROM YOU. PLEASE HELP US TO "GET OUT OF OURSELVES" AND HELPING THOSE WHO HELP US THROUGH SUPPORT, ENCOURAGEMENT AND LOVE. YOU DESIGNED US NOT TO BE ALONE BUT TO BE WITH EACH OTHER, ENCOURAGING EACH OTHER TO REFLECT YOUR EXAMPLE IN EVERYTHING WE DO. AMEN

LEARN TO TRUST/LOVE GOD, LEARN TO TRUST/LOVE OTHERS

                                            FROM PAIN TO PEACE

         LEARN TO TRUST/LOVE GOD, LEARN TO TRUST/LOVE  OTHERS

Luke 10:27  And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

 Stories of trauma and pain were part of my normal day as a therapist. In education, I hear some of the stories about the kids that I work with. I hear about hurt that starts in early childhood for some and continuing throughout life for others. We all have our own stories of how trauma impacts on our ability to love. Have you ever wondered how early pain or trauma affect our capacity to love? And to us who have been seriously hurt, is it possible to be so damaged emotionally that we actually can't love again?

Houdmann (2012) explains "Agape"  is a connection through the spirit. A true manifestation of this requires a relationship with Christ. For without Him, agape love isn't exhibited in its truest form. We, as humans, can't reach this level alone. We need our Heavenly Father's Spirit in us, working through us. "The Spirit produces love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23). Only through that Spirit can we reach this goal.
But, above everything else that is demonstrated in God's Word, it's important to keep in mind that LOVE/ROMANCE is an ACTION. It's not passive, and it'snot a feeling. It's a VERB. It requires you to do something in order to bring it to pass. It also requires that you put the other person's wants and desires above your own. Whenever you need a reminder, go back and read 1 Corinthians 13. And remember, you don't have to do it alone. God's Spirit will work through you. All you have to do is ask.

How many pieces of your heart can you lose and still retain the ability to deeply and fully love? The answer is not as much as you think because the more break ups, the more scars and the more scars, the harder it is to open up next time. How ironic, our society is always drawn to watch great love stories but are we are often too cowardly to write ourselves into the script. How about you? Do you have the courage to open your heart and really love? You, THROUGH GOD'S LOVE AND DIRECTION,  get to choose the level of intimacy in your relationships. I hope you choose love.

ASSIGNMENTS TO GROW TRUST AND LOVE:

1. Start A Gratitude Practice: The best way to fill up your our-love tank is to practice being grateful for God's blessings in our lives. By doing this we will automatically attract more good into our lives and God will be able to bless us more.

2. Release Expectations: Remember, happiness is an inside job and comes from making conscious choice everyday to do so. Let others off the hook regarding making you happy. A loving relationship with God is the first step in letting go of others "making you happy". Set an intention to release all expectation and outcomes and allow God's love to flow in and strongly affect  our relationships.

3.Let Love In: Once er release the blocks to self-love by God's grace. let love in and allow it to flow freely througourh our life.! As we start to implement these tips into life,we will start to see subtle changes naturally occur. The greatest love you we will find and experience is when we truly fall in love with God and resulting in loving yourself as Christ sees us.

FATHER GOD - THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE AND BLESSINGS THAT YOU GIVE TO US. HELP US TO OPEN UP OUR HEART, EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE BEEN PAINFULLY HURT. WITH YOUR GUIDANCE AND LOVE FOR US,  WE CAN FOCUS LESS ON OUR HURT AND BEING A BLESSING TO OTHERS IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS. HELP US TO REALIZE YOU ARE THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF LOVE. AMEN

 

The Holy Bible, New Century Version®. Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.
Houdmann, M. (2012) What should be the Christian View of Romance? Got Question Ministries: Colorado Springs, CO.

COPING WITH SUDDEN TRAUMATIC EVENTS-GRIEF, ACCEPTANCE AND WALKING BY FAITH

                               FROM PAIN TO PEACE

Coping with Sudden Traumatic Events- Grief, Acceptance,  Walking by Faith   

1 Peter 5:8-9 - Stay alert! Watch out for the great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him and be strong in your faith. Remember that Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering as you are.

1 Peter 5:6-7 - So humble yourselves under the might power of God and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Psalm 147:3 - God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

If you are anything like me, I watch the violence and catastrophic natural events going on in the world today and wonder if things are worse now than they have ever been. Yet,  ff you read the bible and its accounts; Christians have been severely persecuted and evil has been allowed by God to run rampant all throughout history. Its still unsettling and very sad to me to see innocent people killed for no reason at all. We deal with this kind of suffering globally as well as personally. It seems we are seeing increasing accounts of sudden traumatic events nationally and globally in current times.

A sudden tragic event shatters our sense of order and thrusts us into a world forever changed. Survivors of sudden loss may experience a greater sense of vulnerability and heightened anxiety. The safe world we once knew, no longer exists. We fear for ourselves, our family and friends. Survivors can become overwhelmingly preoccupied with thoughts that such a random act of violence might happen again.

Wilson (2008), Methodist pastor, defines a critical incident may be defined as a considerable traumatic event with multiple deaths, as on which they are able to manage and contain within local "first responders"" resources. Because of the scale of some incidents, a disaster or major incident is one in which they require additional resources from neighboring services, hospitals, local aurthories and voluntary agencies.Wilson (2008) states that events such as these will mean a large number of emergency service workers and others (ie pasotral/christian counselors/lay christian service workers) will experience post traumatic stress and need support.. This, together with reaction of the general public, will bring intense corporate grief and will benefit from an understanding response and support from people from the local church and other faith based organizations.

What can we do with this as the person who is affected indirectly from the sudden tragic event? Usually as people who support others through a sudden tragic event, we will be left to support those who need continuing personal support, especially after the first year. For many of the bereaved and traumatized individuals will live with effects of their experience for many years to the rest of their life.

Lift them up in prayer daily  - they will feel the prayers and strength from the church body and God. Communicate with them, let them know you are there with them.   

What spiritual lessons can we learn from traumatic events and sorrow?

Everyone needs times to laugh and dance, but we also need times to weep and mourn (Ecclesiastes 3:4). Spiritual growth takes place more in difficult times than in easy times. When a loved one dies, it's a valuable time to reflect on your own mortality and your relationship with God. It has been said, "An open casket can be worth a thousand sermons." Some people avoid funerals and avoid visiting people in hospitals and nursing homes because these situations make them feel uncomfortable and unhappy. But to be a healer, you must go where people are hurting. If you do, your unselfishness will help you mature and grow.

 God is Our Source of Comfort and Faith that we will see our loved ones again! Our Creator knows our hearts and always knows best how to help us. All the answers to life's questions are in His Bible. When we are grief-stricken, if we will talk to God and read His Word, we will experience great comfort, hope and healing. Prayer and Bible study are the two things we need to do every day of our lives.

God is present in those who suffer AND in those who seek to help them.

ASSIGNMENT:

Make a simple list of things you need to do in the very near future to tie up unresolved relationship or personal issues. If you haven't told family and friends often enough that you love them, write that down. If there are things that are hindering you from a closer walk with God - acknowledge, face and with God's help, move beyond these things.  Set realistic deadlines to tackle the items on your list. Pray that God may guide you through these often emotional tasks and help you to be mindful and considerate of others going through loss.

FATHER GOD - THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR OMNIPOTENT POWER OVER ALL TRAUMATIC EVENTS AND VIOLENCE IN THIS WORLD. PLEASE SHOW US HOW TO MOVE BEYOND OUR SORROW SO WE MAY SERVE YOU. SHOW US HOW TO SUPPORT, ENCOURAGE AND UPLIFT OTHERS THAT HAVE BEEN THROUGH TRAUMATIC EVENTS. REMIND US TO READ YOUR WORD AND PRAY TO YOU THROUGH OUR SAD, EMOTIONAL TIMES. THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE AND PROMISE OF EVERLASTING LIFE AS BELIEVERS. AMEN

The New Century Bible "The Everyday Bible" (1991). Dallas, TX: Word Publishing

Wilson, Gordon (2008) Dealing with Trauma - The Methodist Church of Great Britain. www.methodist.org.uk/downloads/pc_traumaart0105.pdf Retrieved on Oct 4, 2013

STOP NUMBING THE PAIN! FINDING PEACE......

                                    FROM PAIN TO PEACE        

                   STOP NUMBING THE PAIN! FINDING PEACE

John 16:33 " I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. in the world you will have tribulation. But take heart;I have overcome the world."

1 Peter 2:24 "He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. "

James 5:16 "Therefore,confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."

WHAT IS SELF MEDICATING/SELF HARM?
Self-medication/ self harm is human behavior in which an individual uses self-prescribed drugs or self soothing behaviors to treat psychological trauma. The psychology of such behavior within the specific context of using recreational drugs, psychoactive drugs, alcohol and other self-soothing forms of behavior to alleviate symptoms of stress, anxiety, depression related to psychological trauma of many forms (Benegal, 2010). Examples of self soothing behaivors are addictions in MANY forms and self harm/injury.

CHRISTIANS AND SELF MEDICATING/SELF HARM - ARE WE IMMUNE?

Self-harm and self medicating is a growing problem in our society and therefore is a reality we cannot afford to sweep under the carpet. Research by the British Psychological Foundation found that around 1% of the population self-harm with one in ten teenagers having self-harmed. It is not a problem that Christians are immune to. I researched and saw numerous websites with forums especially for Christians who self-harm/self medicating. Mental Health Foundation (2008)conducted a study and concluded‘Self-harm amoung young people is a serious public health challenge that everyone in contact with young people must rise to".

We can be sure that the Enemy wants us to stumble and will use whatever means necessary to do so. As Christians dealing with self medicating/self injury we are dealing with SPIRITUAL WARFARE. Jesus says in John 16:33, "These things I have spoken to you, that in me you might have peace. In the world you shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."


WHAT CAN WE DO IF WE KNOW SOMEONE STRUGGLING WITH THESE THINGS?
If you know someone who self medicates or self harms, have compassion (Ephesians 4:32). They are struggling and don't know how else to deal with their pain. It's not their "fault" or something they're doing to hurt you. God wants to heal them, and you can help. Galatians 6:2 says to "bear one another's burdens." How can you love your friend and show them that they matter to you and to God?



WHAT CAN WE DO IF WE ARE STRUGGING WITH SELF MEDICATING/SELF HARM?

While all addictions are hard to overcome, help and treatment are out there and available—recovery and freedom are possible. We believe that no matter what you're wrestling with—self injury, depression, drugs and alcohol, body image issues, sexual addiction, or other areas of brokenness through the power of the Holy Spirit.

ASSIGNMENT FOR TODAY:

If you are concerned about someone today that maybe into self harm or self medicating- pray that God can deliver them from this emotional pain. Pray to God that he can use you to help you be a support for them and pray that you will have an opportunity to help.

If you are concerned about yourself in these areas, the first step is confide in someone- christian friend, pastor, christian based counselor. Pray and ask God to lead you to someone you feel comfortable expressing absolutely everything to that is happening to you, past and present. With this person, focus on identifying the triggers and the feelings associated with the behavior. God can heal all things (1 Peter 2:24).

FATHER GOD - PLEASE HELP ME OVERCOME MY BATTLES WITH SELF MEDICATING/SELF HARMING. I KNOW THAT SATAN WILL USE THESE THINGS TO VEER ME OFF THE PATH THAT YOU WANT ME TO BE ON. PLEASE HELP ME TO TRUST SOMEONE ENOUGH TO BEGIN THE JOURNEY OF HEALING THROUGH YOU. ALSO, PLEASE HELP ME BE A VESSEL TO HELP COMFORT AND SUPPORT THE PROCESS OF HEALING FOR OTHERS STRUGGLING WITH THESE THINGS. GUIDE ME IN YOUR WILL. AMEN

　
The Holy Bible, New Century Version®. Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Kirstin Murray (11/10/2010). "Distressed doctors pushed to the limit". Australian Broadcasting Corporation.

Dr Vivek Benegal (October 12, 2010). "Addicted to alcohol? Here's why". India Today.


Mental Health Foundation (2008)"Truth Hurts". Research study regarding self harm. The Kubrick Theme. Blog at WordPress.com

REALIZING PURPOSE FOR PAIN - MOVING BEYOND THE TEARS

                                                     FROM PAIN TO PEACE

                  REALIZING PURPOSE FOR PAIN - MOVING BEYOND THE TEARS
         
         Romans 5:3-5
We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, Hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.Job 2:13
 Then they sat on the ground with Job seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him because they saw how much he was suffering.

The Purpose of Pain

Human suffering takes many forms: emotional, natural, and moral. Loneliness, anxiety, and grief are examples of emotional suffering. Fires, tornados, earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunami, and physical illnesses (e.g., cancer) are examples of natural suffering. Moral suffering is brought on by the deliberate acts of fellow human beings to cause suffering, something Christians call a moral evil(Davies-Stofka, 2013).   

I have written and reflected about suffering and realize that there will be times in our life when we just can't understand what God is up to. Why is this happening to me? Why, in the world, are innocent people/children dying in violence? Why did my loved one die and suffer so? Circumstances arise that will and we feel that God is nowhere near us and doesn't our heartrending cries for help.

You might determine in your "mind" that when you face such trials that you will remain firm in your faith and trust God.

But our trials are spiritual, not mental.

Believe me, there will be times when no amount of mental effort will get you through. It is only faith that will see you through and that will be a gift from God.
 Spiritual maturity comes through realizing how weak we are and how much we are totally sustained by God. Compassion, understanding, patience, perseverance grows from suffering as Christ did for us. Suffering prepares us for bearing fruit and serving others through God's love and grace.

Through our failures we come to know His victory.

Assignment for Growing Compassion through Suffering:

Schedule a "Day of Compassion". Hopefully the compassionate "mindset" will grow to weeks and longer eventually - but gotta start somewhere :) Our challenge will be to live each minute of that day in as compassionate a way as possible. In other words, for a full 24-hour period we commit to do our best to help other people in need, to be considerate and respectful, and to avoid causing harm to any living being.
 

FATHER GOD, PLEASE HELP ME BE FREE OF SORROW, PAIN, SADNESS AND MISERY. PLEASE HELP ME TO NOT FALL INTO THE PITFALL OF AFFLICTIONS AND ATTACHMENTS TO WRONG VIEWS. HELP ME, REGARDLESS OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES, TO SIMPLY DEAL WITH LIFE FREE OF ANXIETY AND WISDOM THROUGH YOU. HELP ME TO SEE HOW TO USE MY PAIN TO BE COMPASSIONATE TO OTHERS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PERFECT EXAMPLE OF LOVE. JESUS REIGNS! AMEN.

　

Davies-Stofka, B. (2013) http://www.patheos.com/Library/Christianity/Beliefs/Suffering-and-the-Problem-of-Evil.html. Patheos, Inc.

The Holy Bible, New Century Version®. Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

 

 

 

　 

 

 

 

 

 



　
 



  

FORGIVING THOSE WHO HAVE WRONGED US AND LETTING GO OF BLAME, REVENGE AND ANGER

                                               FROM PAIN TO PEACE 
      Forgiving those Who have Wronged Us and Letting Go of Blame Revenge or Anger

PSALM 37:8-9 "Stop being angry - turn from your rage. Do not lose your temper it only leads to harm. For the wicked will be destroyed. But those who trust in the LORD will possess the land".

Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?"  Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Romans 12:19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."


Have you ever caught yourself justifying our anger, blame, my reasons. "You don't understand me because you don't have the same background I have. Things happened to me in the past that have caused me to be the way I am today."Sort of letting yourself off the hook type of thing? "I'm not doing very well spiritually but I have reasons why... ". I admit that I have had years of this attitude, pattern of justifications. A problem with blaming is that we, who blame others do not understand that many of our emotional wounds are self inflicted. It is not until we stop blaming others that we begin to see that we cause many of our own problems. God made our human psyche complex; it is difficult facing what prompts us to blame. We do irrational things when we act out of our woundedness. I’m not saying that any of this is easy. Our desire to blame others is inherent to our humanity. Yet spiritual growth requires that we face this tendency and work toward healing.

           3 KEYS TO LETTING GO OF ANGER/BLAME AND MOVE FORWARD

1)Pray and Ask God For Guidance – Being able to forgive or seek forgiveness is not just an intellectual decision, but there is also a spiritual dimension involved. In the parable of the unmerciful servant in the book of Matthew in the Bible, we find some guidance on how we should deal with forgiveness. See Matthew 18:21-22 in above section. This tends to suggest that forgiveness is limitless, and that we must be willing to forgive someone for a transgression time and time again without seeking retribution. Does t this standard may seem impossible to meet? Does to me lol. Nonetheless, it sets-forth the objectives we should attempt to achieve in our lives. In order to achieve this level of forgiveness, we must pray for strength, patience and perseverance in our relationships that may require forgiveness.

2) Let Go Of The Anger – Holding on to the anger that may be associated with an incident or experience that causes us hurt, can lead to hate, and perhaps a lingering desire for retaliation or revenge. This is destructive and causes an emotional drain on us even if we don’t realize it. Dr. Obsatz (2002), in his book, indicates that there are eight types of anger. These include:

Chronic anger is an ongoing feeling of resentment toward others.

Volatile anger is explosive but comes and goes.

Judgmental anger comes across in hypercritical statements.

Passive anger is suppressed anger that is expressed indirectly.

Overwhelmed anger arises when people believe they cannot handle the complexity of their circumstances.

Retaliatory anger is specifically directed at another person or persons.

Self-inflicted anger is directed at ourselves.

Constructive anger is anger we put to positive uses

Can you identify with one or more of these? With exception of this last type, most of these angers are destructive. Continuing to be angry over something that happened in the past, can be all consuming and distorts our ability to focus on happiness. Consequently, letting go of the anger is in our own best interest. Forgiveness gives you peace of mind and helps to let go of the anger.

3)Stop Being Stuck in "Victim Mode" and live in "Excitement for The Future" Mode – Generally, if we are angry with someone, it is because we feel that they have committed a serious wrong against us Still feeling that an injustice has been done, and that we have been treated unfairly. We can’t help but feel sorry for ourselves to some degree, and we expect others to feel sorry for us as well. While this mentality may be soothing for a short period of time, unfortunately it keeps us from moving beyond the hurt that we feel. If we are "stuck in victim mode" - we will not be able to realize the true peace and opportunities that God wants to bless us with!


DEAR FATHER GOD - PLEASE GIVE ME A HEART THAT FORGIVES, LETS GO OF ANGER AND BLAME. WHEN WE DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THE PERSON CLOSEST TO US HAS HURT US, WHY AN EVENT TOOK PLACE THAT HURT THOSE THAT WERE INNOCENT, ME OR OTHERS THAT WE HAVE FAITH THAT YOU ARE "SOVEREIGN". PLEASE REMIND ME THAT YOU FORGIVE MY ACTIONS DAILY AND YOU ENCOURAGE US TO DO THE SAME FOR OTHERS. HELP ME UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS A PROCESS OF HEALING THROUGH YOU. PLEASE HELP ME TO FOCUS ON THE FUTURE AND YOUR PROMSISES FOR ME, YOUR CHILD. AMEN