Stop BLAMING and start AIMING!

Stop BLAMING and start AIMING"

The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” 13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” Genesis 3:12-13

“It’s time to care; it’s time to take responsibility; it’s time to lead; it’s time for a change; it’s time to be true to our greatest self; it’s time to stop blaming others.” ― Steve Maraboli

As we can see, even the first human beings that God created had problems with "the blame game" :-) Adam blamed Eve for tempting him with the fruit of the "forbidden tree" and Eve blamed the serpent for tempting her to pick the apple to eat. Did it solve any problems? No, actually they were banished from the Garden of Eden to an earthly world to work, feel pain, and depend on their "free will" to obtain peace.

I definitely can admit that I have played the "blame game" in my relationships with friends, family, loved ones. What happens when we get stuck in "the blame game", blaming others for our problems? We MAKE the decision to NOT move forward.

Even the best of relationships can be affected by the "blame game". We blame others for many reasons, but the outcome is usually the same: The other instinctively goes on the defense, blames us in return and an argument ensues.

Blame + Defensiveness= No communication

Blame is a victim mindset, not an empowered one. Blame is a way to proscratinate solving the problem and improving it. Blame is a way of NOT taking responsibility for our future, for our happiness, for our lives.

So how do we stop blaming others for circumstances?

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for our actions and reactions; for our thoughts, feelings, and words. This applies to the blamer and the blamee. Avoid blaming – focus on how to make improvements. Blaming is almost never associated with making improvements in a relationship.

COMMUNICATE with openness and with honesty. If you are blamed, discuss with your partner how you feel about being blamed, rather than point your finger back at them and blame them for blaming you!

Father God - Thank you so much for free will and personal choice in our lives. If we are blaming others for our situation - help us to examine how our decisions got us in the situation. Encourage us to move forward with Your strength and guidance. Help us to be a testimony for You to others by discipline and commitment. Thank you for wanting us to feel better, live better and have purpose through You. Amen